Rebz :)

I agree the other other reveiws, far to many commas. Otherwise, this piece is really quite good! When I'm 34 I'll still be a little kid ;) nothing wrong with ...

This reminded me of The Lovely Bones :) I loved how you wrote it, and the 'five fatal mistakes' drew me in. With her death though, I think you can ...

I know how you feel! I can not stand Maths! This poem right here, story of my life! Somehow, every Maths class, anime ends up on my paper. Funny that. ...

Overnight your canine passed awayWarm tears float the day astray.Regret seems to singe as it meltsSilence drowns in the plastic pool of sorry . Noise and colour, brainstained fangs .The ...

Deep, heartfelt, saddening and sort of hard to follow. I'm afraid I can't pinpoint how to make it easier to read, but yeah, it was good. ~ R e b ...

Hey! Firstly, very well written. I'm not fussy on grammar (so I wasn't looking) and nit-picking words is more my forte. I love how you described the first stanza. It ...

Hey! Now that was interesting, and unique (thank God! I'm sick of vampire romance stories!). I have got one nitpick: I swiftly knelt in front of the lady who entered ...

Hello! I can't resist a fantasy, especially about Vampyres/Vampires. "I know your there," she hissed angrily contenmlating her next move. ^ Should be: "I know you're there," she hissed angrily, ...

Awful? Worst story? Honey, when you wrote that you MUST have been on something other than red bull. This is fantastic. You captured her fustration so well, it was like ...

Lil: Hey Jack, how are ya? Jack: Gd thnx. U? Lil: Pretty good thanks. Um, I need to ask you a question. Jack: Go ahed. Lil: Who do you fancy...? ...

Hey Monique!! It was well and truly groovy. I liked how it wasn't all "I just love school!" like a lot of books are. You really captured the essence of ...

I agree with all iceprincess' nitpicks. If I ever have to dial 000 I'd be panicking insanely. Also, when you said that he was relying on the machines to live, ...

AMAZING! I was like in a trance, it was so well written. But that's only one side of the story. Here's the other was incredible. It was a cliff-hanger all ...

I'm sorry, but I couldn't get into this. I do agree that the sentances are quite long, and you may want to just cut to point. Maybe not getting into ...

Welcome to YWS! This is awesome. You've taken something we are familiar with (love) and have made it play-doh and turned it into something excellant, and shows what it's like ...